I work in a locally owned hobby store. As anyone who has worked retail can tell you- they said it best in the movie Clerks;

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the f***king customers."

We have this guy who calls on a regular basis. He has a snivelly, weird nasal voice. Every other words seems to be an "Um" or an "Ah." We'll call him Fred.

A typical Fred Call;

Me- "Thank you for calling ****, how can I help you"

Fred- Um, ah, yes. Is So-and-So there? (he alternates which employee he asks for)

Me- This is he/he doesn't work today/he will be in later

Fred- Um, ah, what do you know about P-51 Mustangs?

Me- A little, what can I help you with Fred. (as there is no doubt who the caller is)

Fred- Oh, ah, um, yes; on the P-51, there are three lights on the end of the wing....

Me- Yes, the formation ligh....

Fred- the formation lights. Now, on the P-51 *D*, what was the color of the *third* light, on aircraft flying over Europe in 1944? Was it Green or blue. Because on some pictures, it looks blue, but they are supposed to be green.

Me- ....

Fred- Also, on the Merlin engined ones, built after 1944, the oil filter....

Me- Yes?

Fred- what color was it?

Me- ....

Me-...um... blue.

We've all gotten to the point where we just make up answers for Fred.